Wed Jan 30 13:13:29 AST 2019 So we're driving along at a fairly good clip. The road was somewhat icy but for Canada, it wasn't a big deal. I looked over at Bryce, who seemed to be preparing for something, and then back at the road. We were approaching an intersection. And then, the craziest thing happened. Bryce lifted his left foot and aggressively jammed on the emergency break. The truck immediately started spinning. Then, he reached over to the gearshift and jammed it from Drive into Reverse. As the truck shuddered and continued its high speed drift, he floored it. The engine whined and the transmission made some very, very bad sounds. At that point, finally realizing something was wrong, he lifted his foot off of the gas, just in time for the engine to stall. His eyes were wide with terror and he briefly looked over at me as if to say "Oh man what have I done?" Myself, I was rather calm. You see, this sort of thing was not uncommon with Bryce. One moment, you'd be doing something absolutely mundane. The next second you'd be plunged into some adventure that, moments earlier, you couldn't have even conceived of. Although we were in danger, I felt confident we'd be fine. Bryce, although a tremendous fuckup, had an uncanny ability to escape the consequences of his actions. Although the engine was out, we were still moving at a fairly fast rate of speed. Eyes bugged out their sockets, Bryce began whipsawing the wheel back and forth, attempting to regain control. His efforts were marginal at best, more like the actions of someone who had once read how to correct from a skid rather than someone who actually understood it. For a Canadian, it was a very poor performance, although he really did try. I actually thought he was going to break the wheel or something. It was only through his natural reserves of "the luck of the idiot" that the truck stayed on the road, and eventually slid to a stop an inch or two from the guardrail. I looked over at him. "And just what in the fuck was that all about?" "I used to drive a five speed. I traded it for an automatic."

Tue Jan 22 18:58:14 AST 2019 Some say it's OK for men to cry; personally, I feel it's really up to the man. It's not a comfortable topic for many, though even the toughest among us have our stories: times we cried and wish we hadn't .. times we didn't cry, but probably should have. Oh, how I remember the time I cried! I'd just gulped down a very, very large mouthful of whiskey; inexcusably potent stuff, to be sure. Moisture collected at the corner of my eye, and before I could put a stop to it, a brave, lonesome tear ran down my cheek. I immediately skewered and stabbed out the offending eye, both on general principle and as a warning to the other eye. It hit the ground with a wet floomph, and I stomped it for good measure. I leaned down, such that it might hear me better. "This is a hard world, and this is for your own good", I told it. It didn't say anything back but, it got the message.

Thu Jan 17 19:17:41 AST 2019 Walkran traffic stats are surging! Legitimate visitors are starting to catch up to bots and search engines. OK that's a big lie, but we're clearly on an upward trajectory. HELLO and WELCOME to all you new people, especially you channel surfers; I hope you enjoy the site and find it useful. Thanks for visiting, watch this space for more colorful updates, and tell your friends. I mean it. Tell your fuckin' friends. I ultimately want to be an Internet superstar like Kloss, Torvalds or de Raadt, and Walkran.com is my ticket. If you don't do your part it will never happen. Eventually we are going to be the new reddit/steemit/digg/fark/etc. so get on board now and you can tell your friends that you were telling people about Walkran back in the days when the orange notice was CURRENT!!

What is Walkran? Walkran is a news aggregation site. We collect headlines from all over the world, organize them, and display them for you. Walkran was built to deliver low overhead, rapid access to current news headlines. If you find a more efficient way to keep updated on the latest news, let us know. Actually, you can't, as we don't currently have any contact information posted, so just keep it to yourself. Why is Walkran unique? We happily aggregate conventional media, alt media, and user forums. We do so to provide an overview of what various groups, often in complete disagreement, have to say about an issue. When you visit many conventional aggregation sites, you only receive the mainstream headlines. Here, you get it all. We provide a more EXCITING, more CONTROVERSIAL gateway to breaking news, current events and emerging trends. Lesser news aggregation sites provide you with access to only one or two types of propaganda. At Walkran, we provide access to it all. Whether it's Globalist propaganda from the mainstream media, Wikileaks data dumps, Forum Gaslighting from one of the three letter agencies or just snowflakes melting down, we grab it, sort it, and display it for you. We are the ultimate non-discriminatory news provider: we don't care who says what or whether it's remotely true. We'll print it, regardless. Know this: we occasionally provide access to wonderful, enlightening content, but more than not, we end up providing access to corporate and state propaganda, misguided user posts, misleading articles, biased content and fake news. Why? Because that's the world we live in. We don't write the news. We just point you to it. Good luck out there.

So one time, this guy said to me "do you use PHP?" I looked at him (immediately suspicious) and replied: "No. I use PERL." At that point I just wanted the conversation to end. I wanted it to be over. I turned to leave. You know what he says next, virtually fishhooking me in the eye? "What, is that, like Python?" I overreacted, I admit, for sure. As the judge said and my own attorney agreed, I showed a 'remarkably disproportionate reaction to a completely benign comment', although I think that statement, while somewhat accurate, evinces a stunning lack of ignorance with regards to interpreted programming languages. I still feel if we had have been clearer on the technical and historical realities of the conversation we would have won the case but in the end I agreed to a plea deal as the legal fees were mounting and I guess I shouldn't have done it. However back to the story. I cried out like a wounded raven to distract him, and as he looked at me in confusion I advanced quickly and kneed him viciously in the groin. As he crumpled over in pain like a man kneed in the groin, I karate chopped the back of his kneck trying to snap his spine. To his credit he survived the blow and maintained consciousness but he went down hard, literally smashing his face into the literal ground. As his cranium ricocheted off the concrete I was tempted to drop the Randy Savage flying elbow but I thought that was dirty and do what I can to set a good example for the kids. I am no Amish nor Nun but I have certain morals that I follow. As I savagely kicked him unconscious a cacophony of obscenities poured forth and I let him know in no uncertain terms that PERL deserves a lot more respect than what he was giving and that he'd better watch his P's and Q's in the future. I honestly don't remember most of what was said but I do remember the last few words that came out of me. As the maudlin moonlight glinted softly off of this guys teeth and bloody face and just before the cops got there, I leaned in and yelled at him: "How do you like those indentations? Everything spaced to your liking, Guv?"